"All my bags are packed I'm ready to go..." Well, I am ready to go but as far as bags being packed? Sorry John Denver, not so much. The flight is booked for Friday at 4:30 and the visas have arrived and are pasted in our passports. Speaking of that, I think the workers at Walgreens are in cohorts with the people in customs. If you have ever read Erma Bombeck's book "When you look like your passport photo, It's time to go home," you understand how bad these pictures look like. How else after travelling for 9 hours would they recognize you with that picture on your visa? You need to look a little greasy, a little crumpled, and have some bags under your eyes before customs will believe for one second that your picture is actually you. I actually saw the Walgreens man working on the lighting of my photo, like that could help. He spent four minutes changing shades while I stood awkwardly behind him watching my face turn a slight shade of red and back to blue. He went through all the shades and decided he could do nothing to help me and hit cancel changes, print. I was about to suggest that if it was that hopeless why not try another shot, but it was already half way through printing my chin... For Allen's photo I suggested he try a sort of smile. (You should see his driver's license photo! It is a mug shot of a juvenile delinquent who may or may not be on drugs.) I thought a small smile might lighten up the tough exterior. Result: A smirk. A smirk that he describes as "partly cloudy, indifferent." So there you have it. Apparently Allen feels the same as the Walgreens and Customs people, nobody should look happy when you are having to show your identity.
In travelling with Allen a couple of times now I have come to realize that we view vacations differently. Allen likes to try and blend into the culture. He will attempt to adopt the dress, the accents, and refuse to openly ask for directions or look at a map. He thinks it's embarrassing to see people taking pictures in front of those "typical" places and being annoying to the locals as a tourist... So he takes it to a new level. I know for a fact that in New York he walked up to a pizza parlor and asked for a " 'roni and a coke" in his best NY accent in Times Square (the Tourist capital of the world). And then there is me. I am a tourist. I take the title to a whole new level. There is no blending in, there is excessive picture taking, there is plaque reading, map looking at, asking directions in broken spanish...The list goes on. I go to all the museums, all the tourist traps are built for me. When cities think of ways to improve their economy through tourism they pull up a picture of me and build campaigns based on my eager tourist ways. As long as it's not my passport photo it's okay with me.
Thank you for reading my blog everybody! Hope you will enjoy it!
So, I just had my passport photo taken at CVS, and let me tell you, they're doing a great job of keeping up with Walgreens in their passport photo department. The girl took my picture, showed it to me and actually said, "Do you want to take it again?" Number one, that's kind of insulting. Number two, I know the picture sucked, but what if the second one is worse? Then I'm the prima donna who's made the poor cashier take a dozen pictures of me. So I said, "Eh, it'll work." Customs will definitely recognize sleep deprived, mildly grouchy me after I step off of my inevitably delayed and rerouted flight.
ReplyDeleteYou should be thankful. I had to get a passport photo taken for my work permit the day after I got to Tanzania. So beyond being terribly un-photogenic, I was actually already jet lagged, tired, dirty, and confused. I have saved the extra pictures that weren't needed, just so I knew they didn't fall into the wrong hands...which reminds me, I should probably burn those.
DeleteYeah, when I had mine taken, she said I was too tall for the screen, so she made me do this awkward half-squat to fit in the frame. Impossible to not to look really uncomfortable when you're doing THAT in front of a bunch of strangers.
DeleteSo sorry I just got to read this, but so hilarious! I love listening to your stories even BEFORE you leave! I can't wait to hear all the adventures and mishaps that actually occur :-) And I'm with Allen on the whole "not looking like a tourist thing". I have walked for miles and miles because I left my guidebook and my room and suddenly that map that I memorized is getting a little fuzzy...and who put the ocean over there? As long as he doesn't adopt the local dress of Scotland (a.k.a. a kilt), you should be safe. Maybe you can compromise and take a map, but hide it in your laptop. (This genius idea has been brought to you by Freshman "I don't want to look like a Freshman" Chloe). Also, don't get on random buses because you're just sure that they have to take you closer to your destination than you currently are. They have to do nothing of the kind.
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